The Issue on Discipline

Love and discipline are most important in dealing with children. I read a book I forgot the title of the book and it is nowhere to be found as of the moment. But I remember quite clearly it says, IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD YOU SHOULD DISCIPLINE THEM. Thus, you are not disciplining your child if you do not love your child. Some say let the child be, discipline them when they are in their teens. Then I tell them, your teens will not listen anymore because they already have a mind of their own.

There are actually tons of articles on how to discipline your child, but I found this to be very effective:

Discipline is grounded on a healthy relationship between parent and child. To know how to discipline your child you must first know your child. Build and strengthen this connection between you and your child and this will lay the foundation for discipline.Once your child trusts you to meet her needs, she will trust you to set her limits. http://www.parentingtoddlers.com/toddlerdiscipline.html

 There really is no rule of thumb for toddler discipline. I guess your love for them will tell you your limits and your rules. The more you know your child, the more you know which string to pull in order for them to stick to your rules. I had talks with Maisie about consequences and being bad. I used to shout on top of my lungs in my desperate effort for her to listen and know that I am really very angry. But I never spanked or discipline her physically. There were times though when I imitate her just so she'd realize the golden rule, "do onto others what you want others do to you". Yeah, at her age I talk to her like she has a full grasp of everything. However, recently I don't shout anymore after I read an article about shouting is connecting the exact opposite. I am on the process of getting a PH. D in patience though to hold my tongue from shouting. And surprisingly, Ate knows I'm angry anymore even if I don't raise my voice. With just one scorching look from me she knows its her limits. Consequently, she don't shout also and she now gives me that tiger look. So much for changing strategies eh?

I want to have this connection with Jaden. I have proven that if your child trusts you, she trusts you on everything. And trusts comes with relying on your discipline. Her nanny cannot reprimand Ate, because it will only make ate do the opposite. Ate follows me if I say so (not all the time though) and that for me is the effect of the fact that she knows I love her and she trusts me. That is why, even how tired I am at the office, I make sure that when I'm home all my time are spent with them. We do things together.

One factor also is that parents should set an example. Parents should also be a follower of the rules you set.If you say don't lie, then don't lie to your child also. You will fetch them if you say so, or you will play with them if you say so. That is why I don't make promises to ate just so she follows my way. Another factor is consistency. I believe discipline is a work in progress. In every same situation you should have the same rule. It should not be that everyday is a different rule. You cannot discipline your child today and expect her to be a disciplined child from that day on. You have to constantly remind her.

BEWARE. I am not an expert on discipline. I am not a psychologist. This is just my experience with my 4 and 1 - year old. I have so much to learn. There is no golden rule, I only have prayers. Any parent would not want an emotionally disturbed child. I only have prayers that what I am doing now will give them a life that God wants them to live. Not perfect, but God-led.